The other day, I was looking through my resume, and I was immediately hit with a stiff wall of emotion that I can only describe as “watching time pass you by”. The little watch on my wrist keeps on ticking, no matter how hard I try to stop it. I had to sit back for a second and let it sink it. I looked at all these past experiences on this piece of paper that defined my life. So many phases of my life, memories, people that have come in and out, and passing experiences that I will never be able to go back to. I looked over at my phone sitting next to me and It became immediately clear how I spent my time. Hours of my days slipping away into the endless scroll.
Locked into the endless scroll like an old man letting the rush of cigarette pulse through his body while pulling the handle on the slot machine chasing “next time”. I look down on him with a pang judgement, but how different am I? I spend hours and hours everyday scrolling. Hours that I could have spent reading books, writing, learning new skills, or spending time with my friends and family. While this endless scrolling feels good in the moment, it always devolves into cumulative hours of time down the drain. I truly believe that my time would legitimately be better spent watching paint dry. If I wanted to accomplish any of my goals in life, I would have to make a change. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life on my phone in regret.
I have gone down the “Digital Detox” rabbit hole in varying degrees of intensity at different times of my life. There are tons of books written about how to reduce your phone usage, but there is one habit that is talked about that I would do FIRST. It’s called…turn off your phone when you go to bed. It is easy to start, and sets the foundation to build further habits off of later. It is so painfully simple, that it almost feels condescending to write about. While simple in practice, it’s important to understand why this works, and how it can help you. I have found many flashy tricks, apps, and fun acronyms that help you make vague attempts at trying to regain focus and step away from the incessant need to be on your phone. At the core, each of these methods and ideas are ways to get a grip on your focus, and in turn your time.
One of my big philosophies in life is to start SMALL, and be consistent. If your goal is to start running, start by just putting on your shoes and going outside everyday. It’s a lot easier to convince yourself, “I am going to put on my shoes and step outside” than it is “I’m going to go for a 3 mile run!”. Over time once you build the daily foundation of just starting, it becomes really easy to incrementally build up over time. In the pursuit of detaching from your phone, Instead of moving off the grid into a cabin in Alaska, start by turning off your phone when you get into bed. The act is a low hanging fruit that allows you to take control of the small, but crucial bookends of your day. Once I started doing this, it became a cascade to allow other pieces of my life to more easily fall into place.
The first time I turned off my phone at night, the simple act of sliding the off button, felt like a powerful act that I almost wasn’t even capable of. Once I did it, I felt rebellious. I couldn’t be reached and I was simply existing on my own. It felt intoxicatingly powerful, because in this small moment before I went to bed, I was free.
The key item for this habit to work is a simple bedside alarm clock. I bought one from Target for $10. When I go to bed, I plug my phone into the charger, then turn it off. I then set the alarm on the digital alarm clock. A wristwatch is a helpful bonus item, because it means I can extend the amount of time I keep my phone off in the morning. Instead of needing my phone to check the time as I’m getting ready, I simply look at my little watch.
Turning off my phone created space in these precious bookends before I went to bed to do things that always seemed to slip away, reading and writing. I started reading my books more diligently. Instead of picking up my phone whenever I got a text or felt bored, I had to sit with the boredom, and keep pushing through the pages. After about an hour of reading, I would naturally start feeling really tired and go to bed. I would then sleep so well! It felt like I gave myself a buffer to let my mind wind down and actually get ready to sleep.
Then I wake up to my alarm. I would reach for my phone out of habit, but I realized that it was off. After laying there for a minute wondering “what should I do now?”, I decided I would go for a walk, something I normally don’t have time for in the morning because I would spend it on my phone. I put on my shoes, walked outside, and only then I would turn on my phone to listen to music. At this point, I’m already up and out and moving my body, Immune from getting pulled into an endless scroll.
Then I go about my day. I go to work and do what I do, but this time I do it feeling good. I started my day with the momentum of good sleep and a little exercise, and I feel engaged and alive. It’s incredible how this simple change to my daily habit has legitimately had such a huge benefit for me. I feel like I have really taken control of the beginning and end of my day. I have started actually finishing books I have always said I wanted to read. I have started consistently writing in my journal before I go to bed. I have started sleeping 8+ hours every night. I have become more intentional about how I use my phone during the day. Most importantly, I have started to feel more engaged with time. I make the conscious decision to resist getting sucked into doing something meaningless on my phone, and I replace that time with things that I value. Reading, writing, exercising, and socializing. Being able to control how you spend your mornings and evenings, lets you be intentional with how you spend the rest of your day. “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives” – Annie Dillard
Nice share!